31.5.07

Following Karl Lagerfeld

The Observer recently followed around Unkle Karl, giving an intriguing look inside the Chanel empire.

Karl's 68 (according to him) for Christ sake! While most people his age are watching Wheel Of Fortune and trying not to piss their pants, Karl is designing like 20 collections a year and hanging with Lindsay Lohan days before she enters rehab. A true inspiration to pensioners everywhere.

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30.5.07

Valentino Cruise Line 08


Cruise lines are all the go at the moment. Chanel launched theirs last week in a giant airline hanger in L.A. and now it's Valentino's turn.

The whole concept of a cruise line is merely a way to tide hungry fashionistas over between the fall and couture shows. Which is good business for the shareholders Valentino is accountable to, but kind of baffling to us mere mortals who aren't that likely to be in need of a whole wardrobe of boating outfits.


What was the Valentino's inspiration for this line...'The Nanny'? It's all very Fran Drescher if you ask me. Perhaps he bought the box set of the series on Ebay and became obsessed. "She was working in a bridal store is Flushings Queens, till her boyfriend kicked her out in one of those crushing scenes, what was she to do, where was she to go, she was out on her fanny!"

It's all very cheap looking, very department store. It's more suited to Fairstar the Fun Ship, than crusing with Naomi Campbell on Flavio Briatore's private yacht.

P.S. I didn't even have to google the lyrics to the Nanny theme song... let's just say I got on well with my T.V. as a teenager.

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29.5.07

Dirty Stealing Cunts

'Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery'- yeah, that's all well and good for a haircut, but when your paying $1200 for a dress you don't want to see that thing on anyone else. In this week's edition of 'Dirty Stealing Cunts' we take a look at a little black dress that has popped up everywhere this year. First it appeared on a model at the Monique Lhuillier s/s 07 show, and then like wild fire it popped up at Michael Kors and finally at Dior. This thing spread through the runways faster than the news that Lindsay Lohan is going back to rehab.


Monique Lhuillier s/s 07


Michael Kors s/s 07


Dior f/w 07-08

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Marc Jacobs SUX

I was very excited to discover the legend MJ had a myspace page and promptly added him as a friend. So I leave a message on his page saying what a huge fan I am blah blah. It was over the top I am happy to admit that. But I was saddened to discover my message had been DELETED.

MARC HOW COULD YOU, WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME HOW I LOVE YOU?


Their were at least two dozen more over the top messages, why me, WHY ME?!

To bombard Marc with at least a million more adoring remarks
click here.

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Unkle Karl- Pic of the week

It's been a while since we had our last Unkle Karl pic of the week. But he's back... warts and all... (well, I'm sure moments after this photo was taken he broke out in a severe case of them).

Karl- Yes, yes I know I'm your hero, inspiration, guiding light in an otherwise bleak world, but I really would prefer if you'd display your affection in a less physical manner. Perhaps with a curtsey. Yes, that would be best. I really do hate to think where those filthy lips have been. I can't imagine the amount of toilet seat lids they've brushed past in a desperate attempt to lick up every last morsel of coke.

And is that one of my gloves you're wearing?

Lindsay- Oh my god, it totally is! I took it from your closet this afternoon, I hope you don't mind?

Karl- How you got in to my house is more of a concern.

Did you at least soak your hands in the basin of antiseptic that was sitting next to the ottoman before you slipped your filthy fingers into them?

Lindsay- WHAT?! I'm such a retard, I thought that was bourbon you'd left out for your dog. I like drank THE WHOLE THING!!!!! I'm probably internally bleeding as we speak. Whoopsy! That's a story to tell in group next time I'm in rehab!
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25.5.07

This one's for Georgie



Georgie often gets mistaken for Tori Spelling(I kid, I kid, you're way more Gabrielle Carteris) so when I found this clip on Youtube I just had to post it.

I never realised how much prettierTori Spelling sounds when she's voiced by Greek tranny. Love it.


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Quote of the day

"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months." -Oscar Wilde


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24.5.07

Raunchy or Wrong?

This is a new feature for youwish... in which we take a look at some famous fashion ad campaigns that pushed the boundaries of taste and censorship. Below are a couple of examples that caused a stir when they were released.

This Gucci ad caused such an uproar when it was released in 2003, that I think it even made the 6 o'clock news. I don't know what the big fuss is all about- we all have rude bits... don't we? The world isn't going to explode because a model flashes a bit of nip, or pubic hair in the pages of W magazine. But anyway, that's just my opinion, what do you think?


And then there is this ad for YSL, from 2004... It's not so much, pushing bourndries, as ripping them in half and then pissing all over them. But I'm not complaining, it's against my religion to ever talk badly about naked male models.






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23.5.07

Prince- The Fragrance

According to WWD, Revelations Perfume and Cosmetics Inc is to develop and market 3121, a premium fragrance collection for superstar musician Prince. Created in conjunction with the artist, it is described as an "enticing scent that captures the essence of his eclectic style and music genius".

The white floral scent, which launches in July, comes in a bottle reminiscent of emerald-cut diamonds, while a full front panel has a raised 22-carat gold 3121 decoration.

How can a scent capture the "eclectic style and music genius" of a person? It 's a fragrance, not a DNA sample! What's in it... a mix of purple velvet pants, eyeliner, thin moustache wax and piano keys?

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Chanel Cruise Line

The new Chanel Cruise line showed in New York this week and it all and all, it was a great looking range, and the models weren't too shabby either!


This is gorgeous,
love the blue and red.

"I've got a brand new pair of rollerskates."
He can rollerskate to my place anytime he likes!

How cute is this model Brad Koenig? Nice choice Karl!

After the party, celeb's from all walks of life celebrated the launch with Karl and his fancy jet.



Lindsey and Karl compete for the title of 'Biggest Sluts' of the night, while French Vogue editor Carine Roitfeld brings the shredded cape back into fashion, Chan Marshal aka Cat Power (who perfomed on the night) takes her mini-pig for a walk and Posh... well... poses.



Demi Moore continues to defy nature by not aging, Ashley Olsen shows off an auto-erotic-exfixiation number while Mary-Kate jumps off her broom stick, just in time for a photo, and Jessica Alba puts us to sleep with her perfection.

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22.5.07

High Waisted Horror

I hate to dis an Aussie brand, but sometimes it's necessary. I mean I'm as patriotic to our Aussie fashion brands as Nicole Kidman is to her apparent quest to slowly disappear (seriously, every photo I've seen of her lately she looks skinnier and whiter than the last- I fear she's slowly evaporating) but sometimes one needs to forget their heritage and be honest. And after seeing this photo, I believe now is one of those times. What the hell is going on with these bathers from Zimmermann? I hate to be all 'fashionable' but their was a good reason the high-waisted look disappeared for so long. It's ugly and hides the body. And unless you can play the human xylophone with yours ribs, it's also very unflattering.

But besides that obvious flaw, I still don't know what's going on here. The inspiration for these bathers is really alluding me. They're kind of Art deco, kind of 60's 'Psycho Beach Party' and they also kind of make me think of a shower curtain, what with all those metallic holes. I just don't know where to place them (besides in the discount bin) in the spectrum of bathers. Which would make them very difficult to sell if I owned a swimwear shop... which likely for Zimmermann I don't!

And what's with the models lips? She looks like she was sucking oranges before she walked onto the runway. Clearly from the despondent look on her face, she's about as happy with the bathers as we are. But can you really blame her? Bathers fashioned out of hairless rats would look better than these things.

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21.5.07

Chanel- the Movie

It has been confirmed that Audrey Tatou will play Coco Chanel in the upcoming movie on her life.It was originally touted to be Demi Moore who would be playing Coco, but I think Audrey is a much better fit for the role. I hope the movie will be in French not English- how cool would it be if Karl Lagerfeld had a cameo??!!



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17.5.07

Jessica Alba shot by Pervy Richardson

Check out these awesome shots featured in the latest U.S GQ of Jessica Alba shot by none other than fashion photog Terry Richardson.

Could she scream 'SEX' any louder? She must have like a 1000 stalkers. She's so hot she could make Elton John give up cock... for at least a week.

(Click the title of the post to see the rest of the photos)





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16.5.07

Plot to kill the queen

The Herald Sun is reporting that an accused rapist planned to murder Anna Wintour. First Karl and now Anna. Man, it sure is tough at the top.

(I'm having trouble getting that link below to work, so just click on the headline of the post, and it will take you to the full article.)

Anna Wintour, the legendarily frosty and demanding editor-in-chief of style guide American Vogue, was allegedly intended as a victim of accused kidnapper Peter Braunstein.
The New York Post revealed that Braunstein ranted in a personal manifesto, read to a court, about killing Wintour.
He wrote: "So I'll tell you why I'm going to kill Anna Wintour -- because I just feel like it."
Braunstein, a former fashion writer, has admitted dressing as a New York firefighter and setting off two homemade smoke bombs to trick his way into a co-worker's apartment on Halloween, October 31, 2005.
He has confessed to holding a gun to the victim's head, drugging her with chloroform, and then stripping her and binding her to her bed.
Wearing a black ski mask, he then raped her over a 13-hour period in her Chelsea apartment in New York.
His defence team argues the acts were committed unintentionally because of his severe mental illness.
Braunstein was earlier sacked as a fashion media critic for Women's Wear Daily after causing a fuss when he found he'd received only one ticket to the Vogue Fashion Awards.
Braunstein penned his manifesto in the months leading up to the attack on his co-worker at Fairchild Publications.
The New York Post reported that no details of Braunstein's were disclosed in court, apart from his saying that Wintour's death was to be up close and personal.
Wintour is widely believed to have been the inspiration for the fashion editor in The Devil Wears Prada, a character played in the hit film by Meryl Streep.
The Post said that according to parts of the manifesto, read aloud in the jury's absence in Manhattan Supreme Court, Braunstein wrote that just shooting Wintour would be "too impersonal".
Braunstein also reportedly celebrated late '70s serial killer Son of Sam (David Berkowitz) and the Columbine High School shooters Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold.
The New York Post said that Braunstein had also admired Andrew Cunanan for his 1997 Miami Beach murder of fashion designer Gianni Versace.
And he even applauded fictional killer Hannibal Lecter as an important criminal literary figure "because of his intellect".
Last week, jurors also heard about Braunstein's loathing for Wintour, the Post reported.
He wrote that she "just never talked to peons like us . . . It was beneath her. And all the while I'm thinking 'Who is this skank?' "
He said she played up a "let them eat cake" Marie Antoinette-style regal attitude, but "all she does is edit a magazine -- that's it. So what's with the royalty routine?"
Braunstein also wrote: "Wintour will be escorted by eunuchs to a place in Hell run entirely by large rats. Even Satan can't get in there, because he and the rats had a falling-out a couple of millennia ago.
"The rats, apparently, are unionised and Satan tried to break the union; there's been a lot of bad blood ever since."
The trial continues.

WTF?! That shit is crazy. At least the people who wanted to kidnap Karl Lagerfeld had a purpose. This guy is just nuts. But I'm sure Anna has dealt with enough nut jobs in her time... she does work in the fashion industry.

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This one's for Tom


Thomas J is a huge fan of the Sex (and the City that is), here is something to break up the mid week blues. I know how you can be with your food Tom Tom. Now that I think about it, you and Miranda are really similar in alot of ways... I mean you both have cleaners called Magda, you're both high powered female lawyers living in New York and you both have orange hair- FAR OUT!

P.S I just bought the SATC trivia board game on Ebay. I am so freakin' excited to play!


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Magazine Monday- Wednesday Edition Part 3




Kate Moss is in the new issue of W magazine in a photo shoot by the up and coming Ryan McGinley. I'm too busy to write anything clever about the shoot so I thought I'd let Kate talk for herself.

"I feel like I become somebody else when I do the pictures. I don't like doing pictures as myself. I like to be made into somebody different." Kate Moss

"I have a dress-up chest at home. I love to create this fantasy kind of thing." Kate Moss

"I thought it was quite vain to say, I want to be a model." Kate Moss

"I was 14 when I started modeling. At the end of that first day my mum said, If you want to do this, you're on your own because I'm not traipsing around London ever again like that. It's a nightmare." Kate Moss

"It was kind of boring for me to have to eat. I would know that I had to, and I would." Kate Moss

Who knew Kate had so many wise words to share?

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15.5.07

Magazine Monday- Wednesday Edition Part 2

Karl Lagerfeld was guest photog for the French Magazine Madame Figaro this month. And because he does nothing by halves (well besides his meals) he's ensured the mag is jam packed with more celebrity photos than hamburgers David Hasselhoff has eaten off his bathroom floor. The photos are part of a Cannes Film Festival special. The magazine contains 60 pages of photos and 9 pages of behind the scenes shots.

Some of the lucky bitches to be shot by Karl include- Jack Nicholson, Isabelle Huppert, David Lynch, Benicio Del Toro, Nicole Kidman, Baz Luhrmann, Gérard Depardieu, Milla Jovovich, Julie Delpy, Vanessa Paradis, Emmanuell Béart, Charlotte Rampling, Monica Bellucci, François Ozon, Audrey Tautou, Cate Blanchett, Jean-Pierre Jeunet, Matthieu Kassovitz, Diane Kruger, Jane Birkin, Faye Dunaway and a big pile of French actors you've never heard of.

And because Karl is such an exclusive bitch, the magazine was only on sale for 1 day.

I love the photo of him on the front cover. He looks like he's posing for promotion shots of his new telemovie- 'Murder On the Movie Set'.

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Magazine Monday- Wednesday Edition

Bjork is on the cover of the May issue of i-D magazine in a crazy Zoolu inspired knitted outfit, with painted face, carrying a stick I assume she found on the way to the shoot. I don't know what else to say about the look. It's nothing if not expected from Bjork. The woman certainly walks to the beat of her own fashion drum. And I think it's great. I was such a fan of her swan dress at the Academy Awards. I thought it was the coolest outfit. And the over-the-top response it received, was so symptomatic of how conservative a LOT of Americans are when it comes to fashion.

The Oscars have not been the same without Bjork. We need to get her nominated next year. Then she could turn up in something as equally crazy as 'the Swan' and show all those boring actresses in chiffon how it's really done. It's gonna have to be something big to top the her last effort. I'm thinking something inspired by the withered vagina of Laura Bush. Just a big floppy, guant looking thing, that really parallels with the country, what happens when you get fucked by George W. Bush. And on her head she could wear a giant hat made out of the pubic hair of slaughtered Iraqis. Something that really makes a statement. And just for the hell of it, maybe she could pair the whole outfit with a necklace made out of the empty pockets of fired steel workers. Just a thought. Joan Rivers would literally shit herself.

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14.5.07

Quote of the day

"I've got this reputation for being a bit of sex maniac and things like that, and I'm not. I love that Jean Shrimpton quote: 'Sex has never been high on my list of priorities'."
VIVIENNE WESTWOOD (The Guardian Weekend)

Does anyone really think Vivienne Westwood is a sex maniac? I mean, no offence to the woman- I love her- but the first image I think of when someone says 'sex maniac' isn't her. The woman has horns growing out of her head for gods sake! And she's like 100 years old. Can you even have sex once you've been through 'the pause'?

I think in the interest of everyone who is able to have sex, Vivienne just needs to keep her legs, and mouth, shut. I know it's harsh, but, it just makes everyone feel a lot more comfortable. As Samantha Jones from Sex and the City said in that episode where she finds a grey pube, and confronts Carrie about it, "no one wants to fuck grandma's pussy." Ahmen to that!

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9.5.07

What Lily Loves

Oh what a cute website, this has been done really really well.

This is for Lily Allen's new collection at New Look in the UK.

Check it out.

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8.5.07

Ok, this is getting ridiculous

According to WWD.com, Penelope Cruz and her sister Monica are set to design a range of clothing for Spanish retail chain MNG. Along with the "25-piece collection, including accessories...they also will be the new faces of the retailer's fall-winter 2007 advertising campaign. Cruz and her sister, a dancer and TV actress on a "Fame"-like series called "Un Paso Adelante," already design a collection of jewelry and handbags for the Japanese retail chain Samantha Thavasa."

When will the madness stop? Who's going to be the next to join the ranks of celebrity designers- Rosanne Barr?! Who'd have thought it was so easy to design clothes? Why are these big design houses paying millions of dollars to talented people like Hedi Slimane and Phoebe Philo, when apparently anyone with a celebrity profile and killer smile can do it? Gucci's looking to freshen up their house- someone give Bai Ling a call ASAP! Oh and Karl Lagerfeld don't worry about finding yourself a successor, I have the perfect guy- Jerry O'Connell! Remmember he was the fat kid in 'Stand By Me' and he was in that TV show Sliders. He's kind of famous and he's going out with Rebecca Romijn (previously Rebecca Romijn Stamos) so surely you'd get her in the front row of the show!

P.S. Keep an eye out for the range I'm designing for Target Uzbekistan- it's inspired by the peasant chic look I'm so well known for.

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7.5.07

Logies Wrap Up

Georgie and I were lucky enough to get to go to the Logies on Sunday night. For those readers overseas, the Logies are like the Emmys, yet not nearly as entertaining or with as many famous people. But it was fun anyway.

Access All Areas! The only way to travel.

We were sitting at table 95. You couldn't actually get any further from the stage. We could have been listening to rock music on a ghetto blaster, while carving an ice sculptor with a chainsaw and not have bothered anyone on stage.

SBS newsreader Lee Lin Chin was wearing an amazing white skirt and gold shoes which she insisted we get in the shot.

Wining has never looked to hot, oh and Susie Porter looks pretty good too.

Libby Gore and friend strike a pose at the Channel 9 after party. Libby spent most of the night walking around with her shoes in her hand.

Me and Anthony Callea. He's not crouching, he's actually that small. I was tempted to put him in my pocket and carry him around with me for the rest of the night.

Nick and Sigrid Thornton. I went up to her and gave her a fright- not a crease appeared in that forehead. It was smooth as silk! I have to say that whatever she's using, she looked great. Her dress was very pretty.

Tanya Zaetta jetted in from India where she is a Bollywood superstar. And in honor of her adopted country she wore an Indian style dress and earrings.

Me and UK singer James Morrison. He was really nice, although we missed his performance cos we snuck out in the ad break and they wouldn't let us in until the next one.

Kate Ceberano was the entertainment for the first after-party. I have to say I've never been such a fan of her, however after seeing her live I've changed my mind. She was so fantastic. Jamie Dury and Guy Sebastian jumped on stage with her and revved the crowd up. I felt like I was on the set of 'It Takes Two'.

These crazy people had been waiting out the front of the venue since 10am that morning. It was Midnight when I took that photo! I asked one of them who they were waiting for, and they said Avril Lavigne. We actually spotted Avril at the Channel 9 party. She was sitting in a corner with her band, and a hood over her head. I had a chat with her back-up singer, who was really nice. Avril wasn't so friendly. I guess she's shy, or just a bitch. Either way I don't think she would have had much time for her tired fans.

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