4.3.07

Paris Fall RTW- Crazy John's fashion show

It was fright night at the John Galliano show over the weekend in Paris. Models dressed as if they had crawled out of the ground, strutted down the runway in vintage inspired dresses.

Make-up extraordinaire Pat McGrath, didn't so much 'provided' make-up for the girls as, 'grab them by the back of their heads and pound their faces into her make-up case'.

Bruised zoombie hookers, are so chic right now.

"What me drunk?...(burp, little spew) are yooouusssee crazy?... I'm just having a good night out in my little black dress of despair, nusssing tooo worrry about!"

Imagine waking up in the middle of the night and seeing this scary bitch staring down at you? I'm getting shivers just thinking about it. Put her back in the clown cemetery where you found her John!

"S'up bitches? Yeah I'm dead and shit, you gotta a mother fucking problem with that? Quit looking at me like you never seen a battered and bruised deceased bitch strutting down a runway... you making me uncomfortable."

"Just popping down to the shop to get some ingredients for my brew! 1 teaspoon of my dead lovers tears, 1 cup of semen from the scrotum of an angry Irish man and the toe nails of a banished Mormon. Thank god for 7-11 I say!"

And then the man himself wandered out in what can only be described as an 'eclectic' outfit. Gumboots, pyjamas, rake and vest covered in war medals and flowers certainly says, 'welcome to Looneyville, population 1, where the buffet serves nothing but crazy salad and nutcase fondue.' But then we'd expect nothing less from John. And what a boring place it'd be without him.

.............................................................

Vogue cover material?


Kate Moss and boyfriend Pete Doherty are set to be the cover stars of the April, American Vogue.

The cover is apparently been shot by famed photog Mario Testino! Wowsers...

.............................................................

Magazine Monday- what's going on here?

Welcome to a new week. And what better way to start the grind than with a couple of head scratches. Young Dancer and Flaun+, are two magazines that couldn't be any more different, yet have one big thing in common- that been that neither of their covers make any sense at all...

It took me a really long time to figure out-

a) what the headline read.

and

b) who was the strange upside down man on the cover.

After staring at this for so long my brain started to hurt I worked out the answer to both these questions. If you haven't figured it out yet, the guy on the front is Alec Baldwin. And the headline seems to read 'War and Mo, and Mo and Me'. The only problem was that even after figuring this out I STILL HAD NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON! So many questions left unanswered, why is he upside down? Whose Mo? And what does this Mo have to do with Alec... or war? And which war are they talking about? Iraq? Vietnam? The goddamn Crimean War of 1854?

As frustrating as it all is, perhaps that was the magazines' master plan. Make a cover so obscure and confusing that befuddled customers, at the magazine section of Borders, would be forced to buy the thing simply to find out what it's all about. But not me, I shall just force myself to live with the uncertainty and unanswered questions, that I've so often come to expect from Alec Baldwin.

Besides been the cheapest looking thing I have ever seen, the cover for this month's Young Dancer is also rather worrying. I mean, is the girl on the front cover alright? She looks as though she's fallen and can't get up. Her wrist appears to be snapped in half and her face looks worryingly pained. What sort of sadistic editor would choose such a moment, to document for their front cover? And then to mock her with the headline- 'Lauren Curran Jumps for Joy. What makes this girl dance?' Quite clearly, nothing will be making young Lauren dance for at least the next six weeks. But hopefully when she gets the plaster off, Lauren will finally jump for joy and tap her way on to the next cover of Young Dancer in a triumphant come-back issue, the likes of, the dancing community has never seen! Go Lauren, go!

.............................................................