High Waisted Horror

I hate to dis an Aussie brand, but sometimes it's necessary. I mean I'm as patriotic to our Aussie fashion brands as Nicole Kidman is to her apparent quest to slowly disappear (seriously, every photo I've seen of her lately she looks skinnier and whiter than the last- I fear she's slowly evaporating) but sometimes one needs to forget their heritage and be honest. And after seeing this photo, I believe now is one of those times. What the hell is going on with these bathers from Zimmermann? I hate to be all 'fashionable' but their was a good reason the high-waisted look disappeared for so long. It's ugly and hides the body. And unless you can play the human xylophone with yours ribs, it's also very unflattering.

But besides that obvious flaw, I still don't know what's going on here. The inspiration for these bathers is really alluding me. They're kind of Art deco, kind of 60's 'Psycho Beach Party' and they also kind of make me think of a shower curtain, what with all those metallic holes. I just don't know where to place them (besides in the discount bin) in the spectrum of bathers. Which would make them very difficult to sell if I owned a swimwear shop... which likely for Zimmermann I don't!

And what's with the models lips? She looks like she was sucking oranges before she walked onto the runway. Clearly from the despondent look on her face, she's about as happy with the bathers as we are. But can you really blame her? Bathers fashioned out of hairless rats would look better than these things.

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